Close encounters of the insane kind

So in my last blogs I have been raving on about all the great people I am meeting, people from Chille to South Korea. This blog is going to shed light on the people who are one sandwich short of a picnic.

You have your run of the mill nutters here, they generally have been living here for many seasons and are normally very friendly sometimes borderline over friendly. Jeff is probably the unofficial Palolem welcoming commitee and he is by far the nicest. There is also the Indian Ozzy Osbourne who I think has had his brain turned to mush from all the weed and mushrooms he has been taking. I remember having a conversation with him where I didnt understand a word he said and had to limit my responses to yes, no or maybe depending on what it looked like he was saying. Today however he told me that I was stupid for not having a lighter on me as fire is the start of life then he told me my face was shit ha ha ha I laughed as he was shouting other stuff in the distance.

Now there are the complete weirdos. My first encouter with James came before the night of the headphone party whilst having a beer waiting for friends, he proceeded to tell me about how he has lots of money tied up in gold Kruger Rands (South African gold coins) to be exact, I said that was a good idea, I asked when he intended to sell. "Never! I may exchange them though for a gun and a bullet proof vest" my first responce was WHY?? He then told me he is expecting anarchy and for the world to be like Mad Max, I chuckled to myself thinking of putting him in the Thunderdome with Tina Turner ha ha ha. Last night I had another conversation with Norman Bates, he enlightedned me that the Holocaust that killed around 6 million Jews never happened. "So where did they go" I asked, "To Palastine" I argued about this and tried to counger up some facts like Auschwitz and Dachau the famous concentration camps but according to him they were built after. He then went on to say that the IRA bombings are from Jews, so was Pearl Harbour, 9/11 and that Jesus hated the Jews, this one I maybe could side with him as they did crucify him on a cross. I have a feeling if this guy carries on taking these Hitler youth views he wont last long, the reason being that 50% of the tourists here are people from Isreal and most of them have come out of their national service and have a 'devil may care' attitude and if they hear him saying all this about the Jews then he wont last long. He also has that face you just want to slap!

That night of meeting the patients didnt end there, I met Clive and I had previously seen him on the beach, well you couldnt miss him as he was the one carrying the bucket over his head with a shade umbrella into the sea for 10 minutes then staggered out of the surf still bucket on head then took 10 mins to try and stand in the bucket and hold the umbrella up high, when he achieved this I felt like giving him a round of applause and expected something to happen like it does in Indiana Jones, maybe he was trying to find the Idol!? The Indians sometimes do circus tricks on the beach and most people just ignore them, Clive however had the whole section of the beach glued to his every move, if he went round with a collection I would have gladly gave him 10 rupes. Well the person I was with wanted to know where he was from so when I saw him come into the pub just after playing imaginary golf down the street I asked him. His name is Clive and him comes from the moon. I spat out the drink in my mouth and tried not to laugh, I made small talk asking him whats it like there? Well its got a lot of craters but its ok as he lives there with his pet cockroach Oscar! I wanted to ask some other questions about economy on the moon has it been affected by the credit crunch or what the weather is like there. I also wanted to burst out singing Ground control to major Tom but I was already on the verge of collapsing in fits of laughter. When my friend posts the picture of Clive I will add it to the next blog as he does look very weird. He kind of looks like what you will see in the paper when a serial killer has been caught, he has that look!

This is my last post from Palolem as I am leaving on Tuesday morning for Hampi.

Peace out