My theory of evolution

Darwin what is there to say about the capital of the Northern Territories the sea is a no go area thanks to a year long supply of box jellyfish and if they don’t get you then the saltwater crocodiles will eat you the beach is lovely and the sunset is even more gorgeous overlooking the Timor sea but beyond that there is not really a great deal to this hot and humid place, it reminds me of a holiday resort with people rarely moving past Mitchell Street (Bar Street) or leaving the confines of the swimming pool during the day. A scouser in my room (reminds me I should check my stuff is safe) has literally only been 4 doors down in either direction from the hostel and asks me every morning if I am going to the pub with him. Darwin has a multitude of nights that take all shapes and sizes from ‘Tits out Tuesday’ to ‘Ladies night Thursday’ and I think this is one of the reasons I have decided to hold off looking for a job here that and the fact its quite hard from what I have seen, people are literally on the breadline with their last few hundred dollars looking for work as their flight home is in 6 months time and if they are not getting work no one is. I have got the car full again and am embarking on a more camping style trip through Litchfield national park and the Kimberley’s towards Broome however I am wondering how this will go down with two of the girls from the last road trip I give it one night before I hear the nagging/moaning/complaining/fault-finding about camping.







With not a lot happening in Darwin I have instead put a funny observation that every backpacker can relate too.

Say what you will about people who play guitar on a backpacking trip, but there is no denying: IT IS A PLOY*.But wait, there are people that just really love music. Some of them can play guitar and they want to share their talent with the world. I don’t believe it for a second. Not while backpacking. Carrying a guitar around while traveling is a huge hassle. Who actually travels with a guitar? It immediately puts you into excess baggage everywhere. They are fragile, and temperature/humidity sensitive. They do it to get laid.

It works. I’ve seen it. So has every backpacker. Some dude whips out a guitar at a beach/campground fire or in a hostel common area and proceeds to strum some of the lamest shit detectable by the human ear. Nevertheless, because most girls love musicians and manage to overlook the ugliness (or fatness/dreadlocks/dirtiness/awful hipster style) of supposedly talented (or, in other cases, wealthy) men, these guitarists indeed kill women softly… with their song. It’s a classic case of guys batting out of their league (i.e. score girls who would otherwise ignore them completely). It’s unlikely, but it happens. It’s similar to how Tottenham beat Arsenal recently.



While the perpetrators might not be wearing ski sweaters, they offend with covers of the usual suspects: Ben Harper, Newton Faulkner, Jack Johnson, Bob Marley, Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, RHCP, Nirvana, Radiohead, Oasis (esp. “Wonderwall”), James Blunt, etc. (I left out John Mayer and Santana because usually the dickheads can’t figure out the tuning.)




The best part? The guys’ game faces as they belt out the lyrics, often with their eyes closed. Priceless.

Some of these guys, however, don’t even play well. For example, there’s that scene in Role Models where the one guy brings a guitar on the camping trip and starts playing a song, only to screw it up, stop and start over again repeatedly. (In between each song is a healthy beenou about how “my band back home puts on one hell of a show.” Well sir, I have news for you. It doesn’t. Your band back home sucks. That’s why no one’s heard of you, you’re playing power chords poorly, and you resort to just tapping the guitar and bobbing your head to cover the parts you don’t know.)

*Ploy (noun): A display of fake talent, intelligence or compassion performed in order to impress members of the opposite sex, and ultimately, to get laid. Men, particularly those on major sex droughts, are more likely to resort to ploys. Common backpacker ploys include: volunteering for NGOs; speaking a foreign language; being good with children and animals; caring about art, religion, world politics, the environment, feminism, gay rights, local inhabitants, and people with disabilities; disapproving of wild partying, drug use and promiscuity; and playing guitar.

The West coast is more chilled relaxed and apparently less backpackers….only time will tell