The Return Of The Bling

See link for best bits of NZ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s2RqrZTsFM

So having bypassed Christchurch due to the Earthquake which took 12 long hours on a cramp coach we hit Kaikorra. We did drive through Christchurch and got to see some of the devastation which was sporadic at best, only the really old buildings suffered damage and it ranged from whole sides of buildings collapsing to chimney stacks cracking but it’s the aftershocks that people are worried about, they are very frequent and can be as just as strong, reports differ to how long these aftershocks will last, they range from 2 weeks to months in some cases. As I have already been to Kaikorra on this route I was not too bothered about staying just the night there and getting there really late we didn’t have much choice but to go to bed. The next morning we headed up to Picton so we could get the ferry through Queen Charlotte Sound across the strait on to the North Island. The Ferry took 3 hours, luckily enough the bar served some over priced beer and they were screening good ole ‘Cash In The Attic’ on the tube, that reminds me is David Dickinson getting browner, he looks like a mahogany cabinet or a house fire victim.

We have at last got to the capital of New Zealand (Wellington) where we would spend the next 3 days, once in the dorm it was bags off and unloaded into any corner of the room you could find. The next day we decided to hit the museum (see below) and climb up Mt Victoria which was one of the first filming locations in Lord Of The Rings, the scene where Frodo and company leave the shire and the Nasgals are on the path looking for them, the climb up the mountain was in one word difficult which has not put my mind at ease about my upcoming 4 day trek in Peru but in true London fashion I claimed I will be alright on the night. Taking advantage of lay ins (non travel days) is paramount so we did have a big night out in Wellington in the Base bar where many a Jaegar bomb was consumed. The last night before we continue our jounrney North the guys and I ventured to the cinema on our last day and we saw The Expendables which in one word SHOCKING or two words shockingly shit.

Te papa museum is the main museum in Wellington and in one word - AMAZING, and it was free, it is basically 6 floors of full grown interactive features where you can experience an earthquake or go on rides that will make you feel first hand what its like to be in a rugby tackle or to dune surf. Upon leaving one of the rides we found they also had an interactive wall where you could make a video or take a picture of yourself and then transfer it to the wall where with a torch like wand move it around and play with your picture. Te Papa is the only museum in the world to have a colossal squid, it was caught off Antarctica by a fishing boat who then donated it to the scientists at TP where all manor of tests took place, it is now proudly on display but rather than looking like a squid I could quite as easily had been in an underground lab at Area 51 as it has this alien look about it, or if Dec was there it could have been Ant and Dec on a game show. The squid is over 4 meters long and has eyes the size of basketballs with hooks embedded in its suckers, once again I got my photos then explored the rest of the museum, all 6 floors of it.

Again back on the big green bus to Taupo which is the cheapest place in the world to do a skydive, about half the price of what I paid but less the scenery of the Fox Glacier. Taupo is 600 years overdue a volcanic eruption and considering the luck we have had in NZ I was quite surprised when this did not happen. Taupo is well known for its natural springs which just come out the ground but as it was raining and 40 mins away I had to give this a miss, instead we went to the pub where my last quite night in with the guys turned into a full blown session when an Auckland rugby club turned up and invited us out……..cue massive hangover the next day getting up at stupid O’clock to catch the bus.

From Taupo we headed North to Rotorua which is also known as Rotten-Rua or Smelly Rua and this is because this is one of the most thermo active areas in the world, dig a hole and you will realease steam and hot water, the locals before a law was enforeced enjoyed no heating or electricity bills due to this the phenomena until they used all the thermo activity, a law was swiftly introduced and this thermo activity has regained its potency. This is why the hole area smells like rotten egg due to the sulphur, don’t worry I have taken great advantage of this as I do not need to feel embarresed about farting or shitting my pants in public as no one would be able to tell the difference so farting was a done thing in this town, the smell penetrates even closed bars and rooms, constantly checking to see if I had trod in dog doo. So with my prolonged farting in public I slowly realised this is how a tramp (homeless person) would feel, no embaressment when defecating his self….I could grow to like this town.

During the first evening we booked to go on a traditional Maori evening where we got to see how the Maori’s lived and accepted people into their villages, we got to witness the village and the famous Haka which the Maori performed before battle to scare and intimidate their opponents, now the All Blacks National Rugby Team use this before their matches to intimidate the opposition. When at this show 3 chiefs had to be nominated and had to present gifts to the Maori chief but most importantly they have to be stern faced as it is seen as an act of defience, well I think I would of lasted 15 seconds after he starts sticking his tounge out and waving his stick at the chiefs feet. Upon seeing the displays we learned Maori words and sayings; The indigenous Māori language name for New Zealand is Aotearoa, commonly translated as The Land of the Long White Cloud.
The evening was completed with an all you can eat buffet which I took advantage of.

The next day I had plans of grandeur, white water rafting, zorbing, caving but unfortunately the weather was heavy rain so it was time to hit the hot tub and chill out.

The last few days have been spent hanging out with three 21 year olds who to be fair are great company but they did seem to think that 27 was too old and I was past it, well I showed them, admittedly I suffered more in the morning but I showed that I was still in the prime of my life.

Auckland………….mmmm as every Kiwi will tell you its pretty crap, even the people who lived here had to lie to me about living here then stand me up when they were meant to take me around the city. Get in get out as quickly as possible!

I have spent 4 weeks in NZ and now it is time to say goodbye, goodbye to the people I have met and to the country that has fast become the prettiest of my travels. NZ is a striking place that even now astounds me when I look at the pictures, every picture looking like the scenery is CGI from some Hollywood film and it goes to show why Peter Jackson uses his home country in all his films. I have called this the prettiest country I have been to but I don’t think it is the best as it does not have that certain something that the Asian countries have. I was going to say wow factor but NZ’s scenery produces that wow factor every time you see those snow topped mountains, its main problem is that it is too Westernised, you can get similar scenery in South America but there you will have Llamas and colourful people around to make it that bit more special.

What I like about NZ is that like Australia it can be quite sparse but unlike Australia its small enough so you can navigate it without a 40 hour car journey so to me this is the best of both worlds. The Maori who are indigenous to this country are well respected and looked up to where as in Australia the aboriginals are seen as second class citizens so with that I am going to put New Zealand ahead of Australia, I know this will upset a lot of my Aussie friends and fuel the great Aussie vs. New Zealand debate but this place is seriously cool, where else in the world can you bungee, skydive, jet boat, white-water raft, backwater raft, cave dive, ski, all in the same place for the least amount of money? Where else in the world do you have the most stunning scenery all over the country?

Trying to think of some negative stuff to say about this land but I honestly am having trouble, the locals are very friendly maybe over friendly and very interested in where you have come from and where you are going, its cheaper than Australia, I can imagine in the Summer that NZ gets very very busy which would be worse as the hostels and buses would be packed and you would have to plan your trip more finely instead of just going with the flow. I have thought of something now, there are too many British and it is too Western but I knew this would be the case before I arrived.

So there you have it my time in NZ has come to an end, just in Auckland tying up loose ends trying to get things done, off to Fiji for a few weeks before the big trip to South America where I will be making my way home…….sob sob cry cry. So I will leave you with one phrase that sums up New Zealand:



Don’t Dream It Extreme It