So I finally touched down in Santiago de Chile where I embarked on 15 hours worth of sleep, considering I had not slept in a 48 hour period and was on the boarder of hallucinations I feel that it was well earned. When I awoke I got to see the travellers in my hostel and instantly felt out of place like a white person in a Busta Rhymes video, they all had long hair and/or amazing moustaches and they all spoke fluent Spanish. Immediately I knew that I needed to learn Spanish, ordering a Pizza was an ordeal that took 10 minutes too long and still I got the wrong slice, so far I have got away with ‘Del Boy’ Spanish or ‘Pecknish’.
Pecknish is where you accentuate all body and hand gestures whilst speaking really slowly and adding about 50 decibels to voice volume –
“Hola Senor CAN I G E T A P I Z Z Z Z Z A A A” (hands making round shape then using fingers in sprinkling motion to signify toppings) “por favour”!!!!!!
‘Hello sir can I get a pizza please’
To be fair to myself Chileans are motor mouths when it comes to Spanish I often think they forget to breath, they are like the Australian’s of the Spanish speaking world they shorten every word so that it often becomes unrecognisable to the rest of the Spanish world.
Santiago is just a big ass busy city that is contained in a big bowl that is surrounded by the Andes mountain range, most people fly in and get out and that is pretty much what I did, there is not much to see here, all I did was climb a mountain for a lookout around the city and the rest of the time I hung out on my own in the hostel.
So far I have been quite lonely in South America and this is not good for the raging homesickness, the bouts are becoming more intense and more frequent like a woman in labour’s contractions and I’m about 7 centimetres dilated, so without further ado I am heading north to Peru to meet Tim Fish. You may remember Tim from earlier blogs as he was the guy on Fraiser Island (Australia) where the Dingo savagely attacked him whilst he was sleeping which turned out to be someone’s wet sleeping bag touching his toes (not the wet nose of a Dingo).
Before I continue there is an honouree mention for Chris Pearson and Nick Bray who I have now seen in 2 continents and 3 countries, albeit in Fiji and Chile we were just passing ships in the night, hopefully I will get to see these lads again somewhere in South America once more but if not we can always chalk up 4 countries when we get back to England, well unless Chris moves to France.
The bus to Peru started with a 28 hour bus ride to Arica which rests on the border, my wants from the bus ride were not much and if they were put in an advert it would go something like this:
WANTED: Single attractive Latina female 20-29,
medium level of English, low inhibitions,
fondness for English accent
As I suspected no one on the bus could speak English but least no Indians so a silver lining to every cloud? You get the people who travel Aus and NZ and claim to be travellers but this to me is real travelling where even the simplest tasks become a stressful situation, such as stopping in a service station and trying to buy a snack/meal, where the hell do I queue up? Why do they have tickets? What food do they sell? It was a mess and I cant ask anyone for help, I can feel my blood pressure rising and I have to start breathing techniques, at one point I thought Richard O’Brian from the Crystal Maze was going to pop up and tell me I only had 10 seconds left then whisk me to the ‘How do you find the toilet’ zone. So if you suffer from low blood pressure get your doctor to prescribe you a visit to South America or alternatively buy a flat pack IKEA wardrobe.
The scenery throughout the bus trip was like the conversation - spectacularly boring, just plain desert and wasteland which makes me consider coming back into Chile and exploring more, the south is more pretty but it is very similar to New Zealand and in price.
I got to Arica the most Northern part of Chile after a very long 29 hours around 16:00 so after a quick wash I got into a collectivo and ventured into town. After a meal at a recommended restaurant where again no one could speak English (mental note to kick Hally Burton’s ass for telling me everyone speaks English) a very attractive Chilean girl sits on the table adjacent to me, so thinking she cannot understand English I mumble something to myself along the lines of ‘WOW you are amazing looking’. At this point I leave and about half block away using my highly acute spy skills I notice she is following me and the Jack Bauer in me thinks ‘pickpocket no way is she Wesley Sniping me’ so I pretend to stop and read the map to impede the potential attack and to my surprise she speaks amazing English asking me if she can help. Two minutes later she is asking me out for drinks telling me my accent is wonderful, obviously I accept instantly where she shows me around Arica. The owner of the hostel now introduces me to other guests as ‘The Latin Lover’. The hostel is very warm and welcoming, I have a 5 bed dorm to myself, there is a three bed bunk with no ladder and looks like its been welded together by a child with a Fisher Price welding kit! I’ve since extended my stay in Arica not because of the bonita senorita who by chance I’m meeting again but because this place is rich in history and culture.
Visa Hunters© - A girl who is looking for a way out of her country, like a gold digger but less about money more about geography! Just a random thought!
So this was Chile for me not much to show but Peru will be much more productive as I embark to Colca Canyon to see Condors, trek volcanoes, party in Cusco, tolerate Lima, endure altitude sickness and then the knockout punch of hikes the 4 day Inca trek to Matchu Pitchu.
HIGH FIVE!
Miss ya Chris!
ReplyDeleteLove Mom
xx