Guate Is Going On?

The first step in Guatemala was heading to Guatemala city which is known for its high crime and danger or soothe media says, so once we got there we headed to Antigua aided by a local who was heading there so instead of the $10 cost we got there for around $1.50. This is rare as I said before people never want to tell you the cheapest way to get from A-B as they normally know someone who will make money from it. When at the bus station people were holding signs for Antigua for $10 which for an hours journey is as cheap as they come, but as soon as you get to a country you attune to that countries economy, so a hotel costs $4 so how can a bus cost me more, this instinct gets more acute with practise but around bus stations and drop off points NO ONE is going to tell you the cheapest way…for example here asking a cab driver to take us to where the local buses to Antigua are they say $5 each which (telling them) is ridiculous then they say that the local bus is also $5 which coincidently is the same amount their friends are charging for a shuttle. The metro which is five minutes away from the bus depot was one quetzal (5 cents) then the chicken bus to our destination was nine Qs. If I had enough Spanish to tell them what they were I would have…unfortunately I do not.

Antigua is a colonial town at the base of you guessed it a volcano but not just one but three volcanoes, like every colonial town every streetscape offers many photo opportunities and with its thriving language school scene it was no wonder this place was packed to the rim with travellers and tourists. Antigua was quite expensive but I met some great people and practically spent 3 days hung-over, very hung-over. I did not see much of the town but only that on the way in and to be fair it looked like every other Colonial town I had ever been too, cobbled streets, colourful buildings and markets. I did re-visit Antigua to which I experienced a different feel but more on that later.

A group of five of us headed towards Lago de Atitlan Guatemala’s most dramatic region, the highlands, they stretch from Antigua to the Mexican border, here the verdant hills sport emerald green grass, cornfields and towering stands of pine. Maya dialect is the first language with Spanish a distant second.

We headed towards the poster child for Guatemala’s natural beauty – Lake Atitlan. This lake is dotted with villages each offering its own story and certain charm with more volcanoes as a backdrop. We started in San Pedro La Laguna which is by far the cheapest and the most entertaining of them all where hammock lazing could be a national sport. Our arrival at night gave us no insight and we were taken to hostel that was cruddy and mouldy so the next night we looked for new accommodation. I am not taking pictures of the places I’m staying but if I say it’s a dive then believe me then it is ten times worse than you can imagine. I have noticed around the world the locals prey on tourists/backpackers arriving knowing the time and how to get them, more often than not buses/flights or any sort of travel is more than three hours so again more often than not you fall asleep and wake at your arrival. This is bad news as you are not thinking straight and are susceptible to anything so rule of thumb; plan, stay confident and stay alert.

One of the funny sights on the way there was this Dutch guy who had a discman© which played CD’s, very retro! When the driver asked if anyone had CDs we roared with laughter and Koon passed his collection to the front, regrettably we had an idiot American in the van who shouted to turn the music off as it was too loud, alas no more music. I was tempted to tell him ‘if its too loud then you are too old’ but he seemed the type not to take a joke.

There is not masses amounts to do in San Pedro so many people tend to learn Spanish with it being over half the price that I paid in Bolivia it’s a Mecca for people wanting to learn Spanish. If I thought this place was a non mover the other places around the lake were much worse. The good thing about San Pedro is that it was very cheap meaning I could probably live on $10 maybe less a day here. I intend to come back here and waste some time here and maybe pick up some more Spanish. There are many excursions but you can do these without the aid of a guide as most of them are just walking. From San Pedro you can take a boat to anywhere around the lake so inevitable we did this and below is what I found.
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San Marcos is probably one of the prettiest of the lake villages but this was dreadlock/weed central and had even less to do/see than San Pedro….well unless you smoke copious amounts of weed, love crystals and have a penchant for anything spiritual which I am none of the above. One thing I did like was the difference in goods that they sold, they had many a tasty snack whether it was frozen mango or banana dipped in chocolate to pure chocolate mixed with all manner of ingredients (chilli, cinnamon, orange etc etc), I recommend choc with chilli!!!

Jailibato was next and this had even less (a pattern is forming here). We visited the most luxurious hotel around the lake and that was it. To enter you have to purchase items totalling a certain amount or make a donation to their chairity. We also met a Canadian family who it seemed had never let the kids go to school. Social Services are on the way!

Santa Cruz was last on our trip and again this had EVEN LESS so less in fact that we had to stay in the hostel as there was no where to eat. I did actually contemplate about working in the hostel for a few weeks but after twenty seconds I realised that I would have become an alcoholic or addicted to hardcore drugs to pass away the days.

Guatemala does not have great cuisine in itself I mean apart from its traditional breakfast of beans (not Heinz) with omelette but it does borrow heavily from its neighbour Mexico meaning street tacos are my food of choice. I wish I could eat them every night…..wait a second I DO! Its not just the food that they borrow, the attire especially for the men screams Mexican to me, they wear cowboy-ish hats and it seems the genes from Mexico are here too, no one over 5ft 3”, dark skinned, big heads to fit the sombreros. Need I go on?

Next time find out about the Geoff Capes of the spider world who was fed steak and steroids, breaking the rules, market blunders and…..oh the Mayans.

Until next time.